Middle Aged Peer Pressure

Being new to a place has all sorts of unexpected obstacles, but I never expected peer pressure to be one of them. Just before the new year came around, FM came home from work and told me that co-workers from his department were discussing taking a cleanse diet at the beginning of 2013. Many of them were planning on following the Dr. Oz Three Day Detox Cleanse and “wouldn’t it be fun and supportive if we all did it together?” Initially I thought he was just recounting a funny incident that came up at work, but then I realized that he was actually considering joining in the fun. And since we are a pair who tend to share everything, I slowly understood that I was being included in the fun.

Now let me just expand on a few things:

1) FM’s workplace is filled with awesome people who are funny, outdoorsy, active, inclusive and caring. He seeks them out for weekend adventures and they include us both in any social events that come up. If this is their next team-building quest, he will be part of it.

2) I have NEVER been on a diet. I find the whole idea of denying yourself food preposterous. But, I am also the kind of person who usually forgets to eat lunch on weekends and I have been favoured with a small frame that sheds weight easily with a little focussed exercise.

3) The move to the Queendom has been a wonderful experience in many ways but our former life as ultrarunners has absolutely taken a back step to things like digging up alders and designing gardens. We tend to spend a lot more time sipping fine craft beers in the evenings rather than donning our headlamps and going for a stealth run on the forest trails.  As a result, we are both fat, out of shape and unmotivated to do much about it.

And so, back to the cleanse.

As we studied the page of rules and measurements, I searched for something that I would be able to look forward to but alas, there is nothing. And, for a non-food mixer like myself, the idea of three meals a day coming out of a blender is pretty repulsive. But, I do like a challenge, especially a challenge that will test my mental fortitude.  If ever there was one, this is it.

It looks simple enough, eh?

I did the shopping and found that most things were regular components of our kitchen anyway, except for Stevia. (I also picked up two dozen Fanny bay oysters and a crab so that our New year’s Eve would truly be an indulgence before the famine)

3 days of cleansing food

With determination this morning, FM got up and made both his breakfast and lunch drinks, the latter which he took to work. Still being on school break, I eventually entered the kitchen, with the devil already on my shoulders, and thought about sneaking in a coffee. But I didn’t. I did discover that the bathroom scale had been moved to the kitchen and, while stifling a scream, I weighed myself for the first time in about two years. I made myself a pot of green tea and lemon to get my mind off coffee (it didn’t work, btw). After 2 or 3 hours of procrastination, I finally put together my breakfast blender drink.

These things do not belong together!  We all know that green and red make brown.  (blech)

 And I had to pour it into a opaque container because my brain would definitely force my stomach to protest if I had to study it before each mouthful. In all honesty, it was a pretty tasty concoction, with all that yummy fruit. I worry a bit about lunch, with its mixture of lime juice, pineapple and almond milk.  I’ll bet you a nickel that it will curdle before I can get it into my trusty opaque receptacle.

Mixed Food Cloaking Device

And so ends my lament of the first 5 hours of my 3 Day Cleanse.  I wonder how long I’ll last.

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